An Offering

Another one of the elements of the Eucharist I have been studying is the idea of sacrifice. This is interesting because I remember talking to a professor about 25 years ago about the idea of sacrifice and my desire to write about it. 

I have been studying the ideas of Dr. David Fagerberg on liturgical theology and the differences between the ancient understanding of thusia, or sacrifice, and our modern understanding. In ancient times, sacrifice was a gift given to God, so it was a good and positive act of love and thanksgiving. The offering of a sacrifice was a joyous occasion, for it was a way of bringing honor, glory, praise, and oblation to God. Sacrifices were made as large as possible. In fact, the larger the sacrifice, the greater the celebration! Sacrifices were often actually made as an act of thanksgiving after a blessing was already received, and therefore were not made transactionally in order to obtain a good. The gift had already been given.

Compare that to our modern understanding of sacrifice. We tend to think of sacrifice as something bad and to be avoided. To us sacrifice means loss. We want to keep our sacrifices as small as possible, and they need to be worth whatever it is we hope to gain. If I am going to sacrifice some sleep, it is only because I think I am going to gain something equivalent or better. With our modern understanding, sacrifices are obviously not something to celebrate.

Think of how our modern understanding skews our understanding and experience of the Mass. The priest calls on us to pray with him, "Pray, brothers and sisters, that my sacrifice and yours may be acceptable to God, the almighty Father." 

We respond, 

"May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands for the praise and glory of his name, for our good and the good of all his holy Church."

Can we really pray this prayer with the proper intention if we misunderstand what is meant by the word "sacrifice?" 

What this means is that during the Mass, it is the priest who makes the sacrifice on the altar, but that we join him in the offering of that sacrifice. This sacrifice is a joyful occasion that we are meant not to just observe, but to participate in, to offer up with our hearts to the Lord with the priest!

Similarly, the sacrifices we offer to the Lord can be joyful whether they come from a loss or a blessing in the circumstances of our lives. St. Augustine said, "Sacrifice is every action done so as to cling to God in communion of holiness, and thus achieve blessedness."

Fagerberg takes it a step further: 

"If sacrifice is every action done so as to cling to God, then one would hope that one’s entire life would be sacrificial - that every action in life would be done so as to cling to God."

Our entire lives are meant to be an offering so that we might cling ever more tightly to God, our Creator, our Father, our Savior, our Beloved. 

This week I have the opportunity to make an offering to the Lord in a way that I have never experienced before. In two days, I will go through a double mastectomy, which of course is an occasion of sadness, grief, and loss. I would never pretend that it isn't just that. 

However, Jesus came down from heaven as a human babe born in a stable so that He might transform all darkness into light. 

Because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us, because of His death on the cross for us, because of His resurrection, because of the way He has saved us, because of the way that He entered and continues to enter into this world to meet us here, our sorrows, our losses, our sacrifices can be transformed into joyful offerings. 

We are a people of hope. 

We are a people of the Resurrection.

While I would never have chosen to have breast cancer, at the same time, I have a moment here to make an offering to my God, to cling to Him, and to allow Him to transform me with His resurrection power. Would I actually want it to be any different? If God has not caused, but has allowed, this moment for me, because He wants to use it for my goodness and to draw me closer to Him through it, how could I want something different?

This doesn't mean I don't find this hard or that I am in denial about the grief and sorrow this surgery will bring. 

Why does God allow bad things to happen? This is a mystery that we will never fully understand, but that doesn't mean there aren't any answers. 

God allows bad things to happen 

because He loves us. 

Does this mean that He causes them? No. God, who is all good, cannot be the cause of something that is bad.

God is love. 

He made us to be loved by Him and to love Him.

Love must come from a place of freedom and cannot be forced. If it is forced, it is not love. Thus, in order for us to fulfill our purpose,  which is loving God (and thus loving each other), we must have free will. 

Without free will, we cannot be who we were created to be, which is lovers of God.

But free will comes with a cost. Evil. Suffering. Death. Sin. Sickness. 

But even the sufferings of this world God can and does transform into blessings because He is a God of Resurrection. I have experienced His Resurrection power in the midst of sorrow before. I am experiencing it now.

And so, while having my breasts removed on Thursday will be a cause of grief, sorrow, pain, and suffering, it is well with my soul.

I will take this opportunity to offer part of my body made by my Creator back to the Creator as an act of love for Him. Tomorrow morning, I will go to Mass and make my offering in prayer to my Beloved--

This is my body, given up for You.