Homeschooling - You CAN Do It. That is, If You Want To.
Today I had such a wonderful moment that brought me so much joy, tears welling up in my eyes with pride.
Our eldest, Joshua, will be 13 later this month, something I can hardly believe. Next year will be his 8th grade year, something that I am excited to plan with him. And then on to high school! As of now, Joshua would like to continue to be homeschooled through high school. This of course could change, but it brings my heart joy and peace and makes our decision making much easier. Our children's education is something we will continue to evaluate and discern each year, but it is our hope that we will homeschool them through high school.
Almost from the beginning of my journey in motherhood, I began thinking of Joshua as a strong-willed child. Looking back, I often wonder if this was nature or nurture. Was he truly more strong willed by nature? Did he become strong willed because I treated him as such? Probably a mixture of both, but if I knew then what I did now, I would have made some changes. What parent who looks back over 13 years wouldn't?
For the sake of today's post, let's just agree that Joshua challenged me more than I had ever been challenged. The ideas that I thought to be absolute were found to be very relative and conditional at best.
This has of course affected our homeschooling journey. Just like with anything, you learn as you go and, hopefully with God's grace, acquire some more wisdom day by day, year by year.
Let's just say that there have been so many days during this journey of motherhood and homeschooling, hard days, days of tears and frustration and discouragement and prayer, when I have doubted myself and whether or not I should be homeschooling Joshua.
Sometimes it is so difficult to believe that something you have never done before will "work."
I of course also see successes all of the time, more often than those bad days.
But for whatever reason, today's triumphant moment moved me to reflection, which moved me to tears.
This morning was our children's first morning swim lesson for the spring. Teresa is in a preschool class, and Noah and Veronica are in a homeschool class. My plan had at first been to enroll Joshua as well, as he said he wanted to gain speed and strength in his strokes, as well as learn to dive.
However, on further thought, I realized this might be folly. Joshua is currently on a volleyball team with practices twice a week from 7:30-9:30 pm. He is growing so much right now, passed me up a long time ago and took his second nap in about 10 years last week. I know he has been extra tired due to a full schedule, later nights and growing like the weeds in my garden.
Because of this, he and I discussed the matter and agreed that it would be best for him to skip this session of swim. Instead, he is using the time to get some school work done in a quiet home where he can focus without the distraction of littles underfoot.
This morning, he worked with focus and responsibility, independently getting through all of his school work in a relatively short amount of time without encouragement (aka nagging) from me.
Furthermore, his writing has improved immensely this year, something that I used to be worried about. He has been working for months on a fictional story for an online class and it is coming along so well.
Lastly, and this is what moved me to tears this morning, the activity for chemistry and physics this morning was below Joshua's level. So, rather than him just completing the activity, I had him teach it to Veronica and Teresa, ages 6 and 4.
He thrived in this opportunity, explaining what an atom is, coming up with real life examples, describing the size of an atom and using manipulatives to show them, leading them in an activity to make a representation of a hydrogen atom and explaining what types of materials hydrogen would be found in. He led the activity with kind authority, knowledge and fun. Furthermore, much of his knowledge about atoms came from a science class he took a few years ago!
Joshua completely surpassed my expectations for the activity and he enjoyed himself. I watched him and was so keenly aware of what a delightful young man he is becoming, how much he has grown and learned, and how much he has taught me.
I am writing this down for two reasons. First is, I want to relish the moment, enjoy it and remember it.
Second is that I want to encourage any parent who might be considering homeschooling their children.
When I first meet a mom and she discovers we homeschool, her response is more often than not, "I could never do that."
This always makes me sad and I try to explain that yes, of course she could, buts she rarely believes me.
I am not a homeschooling mom who thinks everyone should homeschool. I have been called to this, I love it and I find immense joy and satisfaction in it despite its challenges.
However, after almost 8 years of homeschooling, I do believe that in general, and of course there are extreme cases that would be exceptions, any parent who wants to homeschool could do it.
That being said, it is perfectly legitimate to choose not to homeschool because you don't want to! Again, I do not think that everyone should homeschool their children. I really don't.
I just feel sad when parents seem to think that they can't. It is so engrained in us that we need expert, certified teachers to teach our children.
I know many incredible teachers who work in the traditional school setting, and I believe that they are so admirably devoted to their jobs and that their students are extraordinarily blessed by them. I believe that students can and very often do thrive within the school system, public or private, and that much of its success comes from loving, involved parents.
My niece, nephew and the children of our closest friends come to mind. Their 14 year old boy who will begin high school next year is one of the most disciplined young men I have ever met and seems to already know God's calling for him. He has received all of his education in public school and is an extraordinary, bright young man. I wish I was more like him!
So again, I am not saying every family should homeschool. I am saying any family could if they wanted to.
The last four words of that sentence are HUGE.
If. They. WANTED. To.
I have seen families who are homeschooling who don't actually want to be. The parents have fallen back on it as "Plan B," often because their children were misbehaving in the school system.
Sometimes children misbehave in school because they're bored or lost or frustrated or don't understand the material.
But sometimes they just need to learn to behave. Homeschooling might help with that. It might not.
But I don't think frustrated, angry parents homeschooling their children when they really, really don't want to be will help anything.
I have literally listened to a mom rant and complain and moan and groan to her young child every single day because she "had" to homeschool her. I am not aware of the details of their circumstances, but it seems to be that this was not a healthy, loving situation. It seems to me that little girl would have a difficult time learning very much in that situation. It seems to me she would begin to feel resentful. It seems to me she would begin to feel unloved.
With the limited information I had, it seemed they shouldn't be homeschooling. Because the parent didn't even want to in the first place.
The other side of the coin is that I have listened to parents share about how their child is really struggling in the school system. These parents seem to feel helpless and stuck in the system, because they cannot afford private school or because they don't believe private school would be a real solution.
I guess I am speaking to that parent. Public or private school are not the only viable options.
Homeschooling is a viable option. In fact, if you want to do it, I think it rocks.
And yes, you CAN do it.
Homeschooling today is not like it was 20 years ago. 10 years ago even. There is an absolute abundance of resources (some publicly funded in the greater Seattle area), online classes, books, tutors and communities for homeschooling.
I don't know one single homeschooling family that cannot find the resource they need.
Every single homeschooling family I know has difficulty choosing among the plethora of wonderful, high quality resources and curriculum.
In the Seattle area, many of the public school districts offer homeschooling resource centers, which technically fall under the category of alternative learning experiences in Washington state. Your taxes which have been supporting the public school system can be put to use in homeschooling your family, and you can gain access to classes, curriculum, tutors and support through these centers. We have participated in them in the past, and they were immensely helpful to me as I gained my footing and confidence. It is possible that we will use them again in the future.
Furthermore, homeschooling works. Children learn. They thrive. They succeed. They graduate from high school and can do well on the S.A.T's and can go to college if they want to.
If they want to.
I am not trying to convince everyone that they should homeschool, although I'm obviously a fan.
I am just stating my humble opinion that if you want to homeschool your children, if you think it might be good for your family, but you worry that you can't do it, you can.
If you know me in my personal life and have questions about that, please feel free to ask. If you are a reader and want to know more, feel free to ask questions in the comments.
If there's one thing we humans should have learned by now, it is that there is more than one way to do it. More than one way to build a house. Get to the correct math answer. Bake cookies. Be a good friend. Write a story. Paint a picture. Have a happy, long-lasting marriage. Educate a child.
The last thing I would want is to create more judgment or more animosity amongst anyone. Sometimes I get the sense that parents feel defensive or worse, guilty, when they hear that we homeschool.
Of course, you shouldn't! I would never want you to feel that way, and neither would any of the wonderful homeschooling families we know.
Everyone is different. Every family is different. Every child is different. Every circumstance is different.
All require different choices.
I guess I just want to say that if you like the idea of homeschooling, if you are attracted to it, if you think it might be a good fit for your family, but you worry about your personal ability as a parent and/or teacher, I would really encourage you to find out more.
I sincerely believe that if you want to do it, you can.
When I began learning about homeschooling and considering it, I asked my mom what she thought. Without hesitation, she encouraged me. If her response had been different, I'm not sure what I would have done. But her faith in me gave me the courage to begin. And I am so very grateful for that.
This morning was also such an encouragement to me amidst the challenges and struggles of everyday life, and gave me much hope and excitement about where this journey of homeschooling will lead our family.
I'm not sure what it will look like. I know there will be very hard days with more tears and frustration.
But I also know that with God'd grace, we can do this.
Our eldest, Joshua, will be 13 later this month, something I can hardly believe. Next year will be his 8th grade year, something that I am excited to plan with him. And then on to high school! As of now, Joshua would like to continue to be homeschooled through high school. This of course could change, but it brings my heart joy and peace and makes our decision making much easier. Our children's education is something we will continue to evaluate and discern each year, but it is our hope that we will homeschool them through high school.
Almost from the beginning of my journey in motherhood, I began thinking of Joshua as a strong-willed child. Looking back, I often wonder if this was nature or nurture. Was he truly more strong willed by nature? Did he become strong willed because I treated him as such? Probably a mixture of both, but if I knew then what I did now, I would have made some changes. What parent who looks back over 13 years wouldn't?
For the sake of today's post, let's just agree that Joshua challenged me more than I had ever been challenged. The ideas that I thought to be absolute were found to be very relative and conditional at best.
This has of course affected our homeschooling journey. Just like with anything, you learn as you go and, hopefully with God's grace, acquire some more wisdom day by day, year by year.
Let's just say that there have been so many days during this journey of motherhood and homeschooling, hard days, days of tears and frustration and discouragement and prayer, when I have doubted myself and whether or not I should be homeschooling Joshua.
Sometimes it is so difficult to believe that something you have never done before will "work."
I of course also see successes all of the time, more often than those bad days.
But for whatever reason, today's triumphant moment moved me to reflection, which moved me to tears.
This morning was our children's first morning swim lesson for the spring. Teresa is in a preschool class, and Noah and Veronica are in a homeschool class. My plan had at first been to enroll Joshua as well, as he said he wanted to gain speed and strength in his strokes, as well as learn to dive.
However, on further thought, I realized this might be folly. Joshua is currently on a volleyball team with practices twice a week from 7:30-9:30 pm. He is growing so much right now, passed me up a long time ago and took his second nap in about 10 years last week. I know he has been extra tired due to a full schedule, later nights and growing like the weeds in my garden.
Because of this, he and I discussed the matter and agreed that it would be best for him to skip this session of swim. Instead, he is using the time to get some school work done in a quiet home where he can focus without the distraction of littles underfoot.
This morning, he worked with focus and responsibility, independently getting through all of his school work in a relatively short amount of time without encouragement (aka nagging) from me.
Furthermore, his writing has improved immensely this year, something that I used to be worried about. He has been working for months on a fictional story for an online class and it is coming along so well.
Lastly, and this is what moved me to tears this morning, the activity for chemistry and physics this morning was below Joshua's level. So, rather than him just completing the activity, I had him teach it to Veronica and Teresa, ages 6 and 4.
He thrived in this opportunity, explaining what an atom is, coming up with real life examples, describing the size of an atom and using manipulatives to show them, leading them in an activity to make a representation of a hydrogen atom and explaining what types of materials hydrogen would be found in. He led the activity with kind authority, knowledge and fun. Furthermore, much of his knowledge about atoms came from a science class he took a few years ago!
Joshua completely surpassed my expectations for the activity and he enjoyed himself. I watched him and was so keenly aware of what a delightful young man he is becoming, how much he has grown and learned, and how much he has taught me.
I am writing this down for two reasons. First is, I want to relish the moment, enjoy it and remember it.
Second is that I want to encourage any parent who might be considering homeschooling their children.
When I first meet a mom and she discovers we homeschool, her response is more often than not, "I could never do that."
This always makes me sad and I try to explain that yes, of course she could, buts she rarely believes me.
I am not a homeschooling mom who thinks everyone should homeschool. I have been called to this, I love it and I find immense joy and satisfaction in it despite its challenges.
However, after almost 8 years of homeschooling, I do believe that in general, and of course there are extreme cases that would be exceptions, any parent who wants to homeschool could do it.
That being said, it is perfectly legitimate to choose not to homeschool because you don't want to! Again, I do not think that everyone should homeschool their children. I really don't.
I just feel sad when parents seem to think that they can't. It is so engrained in us that we need expert, certified teachers to teach our children.
I know many incredible teachers who work in the traditional school setting, and I believe that they are so admirably devoted to their jobs and that their students are extraordinarily blessed by them. I believe that students can and very often do thrive within the school system, public or private, and that much of its success comes from loving, involved parents.
My niece, nephew and the children of our closest friends come to mind. Their 14 year old boy who will begin high school next year is one of the most disciplined young men I have ever met and seems to already know God's calling for him. He has received all of his education in public school and is an extraordinary, bright young man. I wish I was more like him!
So again, I am not saying every family should homeschool. I am saying any family could if they wanted to.
The last four words of that sentence are HUGE.
If. They. WANTED. To.
I have seen families who are homeschooling who don't actually want to be. The parents have fallen back on it as "Plan B," often because their children were misbehaving in the school system.
Sometimes children misbehave in school because they're bored or lost or frustrated or don't understand the material.
But sometimes they just need to learn to behave. Homeschooling might help with that. It might not.
But I don't think frustrated, angry parents homeschooling their children when they really, really don't want to be will help anything.
I have literally listened to a mom rant and complain and moan and groan to her young child every single day because she "had" to homeschool her. I am not aware of the details of their circumstances, but it seems to be that this was not a healthy, loving situation. It seems to me that little girl would have a difficult time learning very much in that situation. It seems to me she would begin to feel resentful. It seems to me she would begin to feel unloved.
With the limited information I had, it seemed they shouldn't be homeschooling. Because the parent didn't even want to in the first place.
The other side of the coin is that I have listened to parents share about how their child is really struggling in the school system. These parents seem to feel helpless and stuck in the system, because they cannot afford private school or because they don't believe private school would be a real solution.
I guess I am speaking to that parent. Public or private school are not the only viable options.
Homeschooling is a viable option. In fact, if you want to do it, I think it rocks.
And yes, you CAN do it.
Homeschooling today is not like it was 20 years ago. 10 years ago even. There is an absolute abundance of resources (some publicly funded in the greater Seattle area), online classes, books, tutors and communities for homeschooling.
I don't know one single homeschooling family that cannot find the resource they need.
Every single homeschooling family I know has difficulty choosing among the plethora of wonderful, high quality resources and curriculum.
In the Seattle area, many of the public school districts offer homeschooling resource centers, which technically fall under the category of alternative learning experiences in Washington state. Your taxes which have been supporting the public school system can be put to use in homeschooling your family, and you can gain access to classes, curriculum, tutors and support through these centers. We have participated in them in the past, and they were immensely helpful to me as I gained my footing and confidence. It is possible that we will use them again in the future.
Furthermore, homeschooling works. Children learn. They thrive. They succeed. They graduate from high school and can do well on the S.A.T's and can go to college if they want to.
If they want to.
I am not trying to convince everyone that they should homeschool, although I'm obviously a fan.
I am just stating my humble opinion that if you want to homeschool your children, if you think it might be good for your family, but you worry that you can't do it, you can.
If you know me in my personal life and have questions about that, please feel free to ask. If you are a reader and want to know more, feel free to ask questions in the comments.
If there's one thing we humans should have learned by now, it is that there is more than one way to do it. More than one way to build a house. Get to the correct math answer. Bake cookies. Be a good friend. Write a story. Paint a picture. Have a happy, long-lasting marriage. Educate a child.
The last thing I would want is to create more judgment or more animosity amongst anyone. Sometimes I get the sense that parents feel defensive or worse, guilty, when they hear that we homeschool.
Of course, you shouldn't! I would never want you to feel that way, and neither would any of the wonderful homeschooling families we know.
Everyone is different. Every family is different. Every child is different. Every circumstance is different.
All require different choices.
I guess I just want to say that if you like the idea of homeschooling, if you are attracted to it, if you think it might be a good fit for your family, but you worry about your personal ability as a parent and/or teacher, I would really encourage you to find out more.
I sincerely believe that if you want to do it, you can.
When I began learning about homeschooling and considering it, I asked my mom what she thought. Without hesitation, she encouraged me. If her response had been different, I'm not sure what I would have done. But her faith in me gave me the courage to begin. And I am so very grateful for that.
This morning was also such an encouragement to me amidst the challenges and struggles of everyday life, and gave me much hope and excitement about where this journey of homeschooling will lead our family.
I'm not sure what it will look like. I know there will be very hard days with more tears and frustration.
But I also know that with God'd grace, we can do this.
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