Homeschooling in 2020 Part Two - Four Best Practices

When I was a child,  at this point in July I would still be frollicking through the sprinkler in midsummer bliss, soaking up any sunshine I could in Seattle. I then always hated going into Fred Meyer, only to see school supplies on sale. Grooooan.

 

Soaking Up the Sun

But in July 2020, for so many, the upcoming school year is causing not only groans, but deep anxiety and stress. Families are scrambling, desperate to makes the best choices for their children.

We all love our children, and we want what is best for them.

This is the second post in a series about Homeschooling in 2020. In the first post which you can find here, I simply reminded us of the truth of the Gospel and gave encouragement to parents considering homeschooling.

Moving forward, I would like to speak to those who are strongly considering homeschooling, but who need help visualizing what that will look like, and who are looking for practical advice. 

There are many approaches to homeschooling. We are strongly influenced by Charlotte Mason's approach. If you want to learn more about that, you can read this post here. 

But no matter what approach you take, here are some of my best practices that are helpful ideas no matter how you are going about educating your children. 

In homeschooling, there is enormous freedom. Of course, I cannot say what best practices would be for all homeschoolers, but these have made a significant impact on the success, joy and peace in our homeschool. 

Real Self Care is Prayer

Our culture likes to talk a lot about moms taking care of themselves. But the real way that we find true rest is by spending time with the Lord. 

My heart is restless until it 

rests in You.

- St. Augustine

Jesus is our only true resting place. Without consistent time resting in His embrace, our hearts will be troubled, anxious, and we will think we need to get it all done by ourselves, forgetting that our self-worth is not about a finished to-do list, but about our identity as children of God. 

A family prayer altar in a common living area is
so helpful in establishing this routine. 

If you want a peaceful heart, go to the Prince of Peace.

Long before quarantine, I knew that I had to carve out time in my day for quiet and for prayer. When I don't make time for this, I miss it and my heart is not at rest in the same way. 

Adding the pandemic to our family lives has only dramatically increased our very real need for quiet and prayer. 

So for me, the only way to have any time of silence is to get up earlier than my children. Right now our oldest is 15, so he stays up as late as we do. There really is no other time of day when I can have consistent quiet. 

The Lord speaks in the 

quiet of our hearts. 

How can we hear Him 

if we have no quiet? 

The Lord speaks 

through Scripture. 

How can we recognize 

His voice 

if we do not 

read His Word? 

Whether you choose to homeschool or not, as a parent, I cannot encourage you enough to make this a habit. 

Cardinal Robert Sarah's book The Power of Silence: Against the Dictatorship of Noise is a powerful testimony to the importance of silence in our lives. 

If personal prayer is new to you, one great way to begin would be the ancient practice of Lectio Divina. Thelma Hall's book, Too Deep for Words: Rediscovering Lectio Divina is a wonderful introduction. 

You can find some more of my recommendations for spiritual reading here. 

Routine, Not Schedule

In our home, everything runs smoothly (mostly 😉) because of a consistent daily routine. During the summer break, we fall away from it some, but not entirely.

During the school year, there is a pretty consistent routine. The children know what time they need to get up in the morning, they know what chores they need to complete in the morning, they know that at about 9:45 am, we will gather in the living room for Morning Time, and again at the end of the day for family prayer. 

This is different than having a set schedule, when for instance, math happens from 10:05 am to 10:50 am. 

We know about what time we will eat lunch and dinner, and we know about what time the children will go to bed at night. 

But what happens when a certain child throws a 27 minute fit? Unfortunately, you cannot schedule that. What about when you are all enjoying a book together so much that you decide to read an extra chapter (or two) aloud? You cannot foresee that. What about when a child needs to cry on your shoulder? Or when they want to tell you a (very long) story they made up? Or when you decide that everyone would really benefit from a spontaneous dance party?

Homeschooling needs to be able to accommodate all of these situations, and infinitely more.

The way that a family does this is that they have a consistent, but flexible, routine. When there is an important interruption that must be prioritized, or you have no choice in the matter, the routine flexes to accommodate it. When the interruption has passed, the family easily and naturally returns to the already well established routine. 

One has to use wisdom to determine what interruptions should be priorities. If one is homeschooling, it's a great idea to turn the volume off on your phone during school hours, and to only check it during breaks. Facebook wouldn't be a priority. Getting outside for a walk when everyone is struggling might be a necessary interruption, and you have the freedom to do that! Then there are times when you have no choice but to disrupt the routine, such as when the 2 year old has decided to stop potty training and poops in her room 😦

As we get closer to the end of summer break, you will not regret building and tweaking a well thought out family routine. 

Read Aloud

Confession number one - 

I have yet to 

teach a child to read. 

Yep. That's right. 

So far, all of our children have learned to read by the age of 6, some as early as 4, and they have done so mostly independently, and with hardly any formal instruction from me. 

What I have done is read hundreds of stories to them. 

Confession number two - 

Reading aloud is a lot more fun than 

phonics workbooks. 

Confession number three - we don't use a spelling curriculum either. Whoa. 

Okay, so what does this look like? 

Well, first of all, I do know the phonics rules for English. So, as we are doing all of this reading aloud, when a child begins to show interest in reading and is asking questions about letters, I tell them that B says "buh," and that EE says "ee," and that PH says "fuh," and that OA says "oh," etc. Sometimes, we go through alphabet books and point at the letters and say the sounds. 

Okay, so I guess that is teaching them to read, but it's different than the formal training that a kindergartner often goes through.

Also, it acknowledges the fact that children are ready for reading at different ages. If your child is not ready to read, and you spend hours and hours with them working through a phonics program, it will be torture and your child still won't learn how to read until they're ready. 

The truth is 

the Holy Spirit is 

the real teacher. 

You are just the facilitator of learning. You cannot force learning to happen. Anyone who has taught children has witnessed this. 

There is beauty and wonder and excitement when we see that "lightbulb moment" happen for a child. All of the sudden, a child "gets it." 

This is witnessing 

the work of the Holy Spirit, 

a miracle before your eyes. 

A good teacher may have encouraged that moment to happen, but they did not make it happen. 

I have never heard a parent say, "I love spending time with my children working through phonics programs!" Not once. 

What I have heard 

parents express 

many, many times, 

is that they love 

to curl up on the couch 

with their child 

and read a great story.

Your love and excitement about that tender moment is very powerful, and it's contagious. Your child loves that moment because it's a great story, but more so because you are spending time with them and they can feel your love for them. No phonics program will work as well as that. 

Why do we question this? 

Stories are POWERFUL! 

This is how the Great Teacher taught His disciples, 

And continues to teach us today. 

If it is good enough for Him, 

It is good enough for me.

The simplicity of spending that enjoyable time together, reading a great story together--it's also going to encourage your child to really enjoy reading.

Does a phonics program do that? Probably not. Usually no one is enjoying that time together. The parent usually isn't, because they love their child and want them to succeed, and they feel a lot of stress to get their child to read quickly. And because the parent isn't enjoying it, the child isn't either. And because the child is not enjoying this time, they are learning from an early age that reading isn't very enjoyable. 

I know this because in a way, it happened to me. I was put in the First Grade slow readers class. There was pressure for me to catch up with the rest of the class. And it was embarrassing to be sent away from the regular language arts class for the slow readers class. Even at 6 years old, I understood this. No one was mean or anything like that, but the message was clear.

I read all of the time now, but down in my heart, I still have an attitude about more schoolish or academic books; I assume they will be too difficult and that they will be boring. Sometimes that is true, but over the years, I have found that with many classic books, that's not true at all. 

St. Augustine speaks of this truth in Confessions as he describes his own experience of education:

This experience sufficiently 

illuminates the truth 

that free curiosity 

has greater power 

to stimulate learning 

than rigorous coercion.

Another part of teaching children to read is reading enjoyable books to your children that YOU enjoy. Do you hate Dora the Explorer books or Paw Patrol books? Me too. Your detest for these horrible marketing books is valid. And your detest for these books is contagious as well. 

If you force yourself to read 

these awful books to your children, 

you are a really, really good person 

who loves your child 

in EPIC proportions. 

But most likely, you are not enjoying this time with your child very much. If you're like me, you might be tempted to skip a few pages if it will go unnoticed. It doesn't usually affect the plot line. And while you are doing this selfless act out of the goodness of your own heart, your child likely senses that you are not enjoying this time very much. Furthermore, your child sadly learns that these types of books are what make up good literature. 

Don't tell, but in our home, these types of books have a mysterious way of disappearing. They are never missed, and they are replaced by something much better. 

Do yourself a favor - 

Read great books 

to your children! 

It is so much more fun! 

Don't know where to begin? There are many great resources to help. Sarah Mackenzie's book recommendations at Read Aloud Revival are absolutely wonderful! 

You will delight in so many of these books, and then naturally of course, your children will too. Your children will learn how great stories are formed, what great writing sounds like, and how enjoyable reading can be. 

Model Learning

Our children will do what we do. If we show them that our education ends as soon as we graduate, they get the message that learning is boring and childish and not worth grownups' time. 

If we do not get excited 

about learning new things, 

neither will our children.

If we do not have 

childlike awe and wonder 

about the world around us, 

they won't either. 

Learn something! Enjoy it! What are you interested in? Learn about it, and better yet, then teach your kids about it. If you are homeschooling your children this year, I highly recommend taking advantage of the freedom of homeschooling. Learn about something you are passionate about - anti-racism, astronomy, music, oceanography, woodworking, French cooking, painting, ecology, Church history, whatever it is that you get excited about!

Your enthusiasm will be contagious! 

Furthermore, you will be 

teaching your children 

that our education 

is a lifelong endeavor 

that is fun and worthwhile. 

Children will build lifelong memories of what they learned alongside an excited parent. Furthermore, you will build up your relationship and family culture. Win-win.

This past year, our 15 year old son, Joshua, and I both taught ourselves how to play the guitar. He is way, way better than I am 😁 He has a little more time to practice than I do, meaning, this is how he spends almost ALL of his free time. 

This has been so much fun to learn together! We talk about music all of the time, and he is at a point now where he is teaching me! 😃 This has been a wonderful blessing in our relationship, and so much fun.

These may seem like simple ideas. They are.

But they are also incredibly powerful. We often overcomplicate things. Sometimes we want a quick fix. 

Also, more and more wonderful mothers and fathers are having their confidence as parents damaged, as we are told that we cannot and should not have the full authority to parent and teach our own children. This is not right.

I want to encourage parents once again - if you want to homeschool your children, you can! Isn't this what we tell our children? If you dream of being an astronaut, go for it! 

If you dream about homeschooling, do it! 

With hard work, dedication, commitment, humility, a willingness to make mistakes and try again, perseverance, patience, prayer and a dependance on our Lord, you can do all things, including being a great homeschooler!

That being said, if you don't want to homeschool your children, then of course don't! 

I only want to encourage parents who are considering homeschooling now because of the Coronavirus pandemic, or for other reasons. 

In my last post of this series, I will get down into the nitty gritty a bit more, and point you towards resources that may help.

God bless!